Sunday, 24 April 2016

The death of my 7 year old self,

All my life leading up to grade two, I hung out with boys. Yes I had a few friends that were girls, but I spent most time with my brothers, and their friends. For the most part growing up my best friend was a boy and I liked hanging out with them more then girls. I understood them better.
The girls in grade two were so complicated. They fighted over things that weren’t worth fighting over. They talked about boys, and finally  I had a boy to talk about. But I soon discovered that all the girls liked Toby, and I decided not to tell the other girls who I liked. It was my secret.

One day at recess, I was hanging out with a boy named Cole and we were just talking. I didn’t want to hang out with the girls, and I don’t remember why he wasn’t hanging out with the boys. Cole asked me the biggest question anybody could ask in grade two. In fact everyone asks still today when I’m 16. Like honestly does it really matter who someone likes? What if they like more than one person or nobody? 
But anyways Cole asked me who I liked. And for some reason, I thought, he’s a boy he won’t care and I also wanted to be accepted by him because I wanted to be his friend. So I told him I liked Toby. And what did he do right after that? Cole proceeded to run over to the group of boys and tell all of them that I liked Toby. Coincidentally, that day Toby was away and so he wasn’t there to hear Cole tell all the boys I liked him. But I was horrified, I knew too well that the next day when Toby came back all the boys would tell him.

I went home that night so upset. I remembered crying myself to sleep. I lay in bed thinking about how I could convince my parents to change schools, so I would never have to go back to school. I wanted to die. It was the worst day of my life. 

The next day I woke up. I did not want to go to school, but I could not tell my parents what was wrong. Maybe the boys wouldn’t tell Toby… But that was not the case. The boys did tell Toby, but I found out, that Toby liked me too.

-The Girl Next Door <3

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